There she goes…

There she goes…

Breaking our hearts into a million pieces and making them burst with pride all at the same time.

No wonder I was so drained today. It’s exhausting all the ‘heart breaking’ that occurs with every ‘first’.

The first immunisations, the first birthday, the first day care drop off, the first day back at work, the first day of pre school, first ballet concert, first lost tooth, and perhaps the most epic first yet… the first day of school. Today! The place where those big developments will happen right before our very eyes. Routines will change and her confidence will soar.

The night before the big day, you were a bit anxious. You weren’t sure about this whole school thing. I had given you a Guatemalan worry doll and told you if you ever have any worries you just tell them to the worry doll, pop it under your pillow and by morning time all your worries will be gone.

You asked me, “do I tell it to her or just wish it in my head mummy”. I told you to tell it aloud and you held it up close to your face and said “I’m worried mummy will go away at school and not come back.” More heartbreak!

I explained that someone who loves you will always be there to pick you up everyday. You popped the worry doll in its little pouch under your pillow and when you woke this morning you came running out to us saying, “It worked mummy, the worry has gone away!”. And you were so excited. You couldn’t get that uniform on quick enough.

We took a truckload of photos and you insisted on having one with Rio your bestie. You’ve been showing her so much affection lately, more than normal. You talk to her like she’s a person and gosh it makes our hearts sing.

Then it was time. You climbed into the car and insisted on doing everything, all by yourself. Suddenly you’re a big girl with new found confidence.

The P&C prepared ‘tea and tissues’ gift bags, inside – a packet of tissues, chocolate, a tea bag and this poem. I read the first line, welled up and couldn’t even look at the rest of it. Not sure how, but I held it together, for you. I looked around and I could tell that every mum was feeling the same, probably some of the dad’s too. Just holding it together.

While we were waiting to find out who your teacher would be, you found your pre-school and ballet friends and it was then I knew you’d be ok. Smiling, giggling and skipping around.

You were introduced to your big year 6 buddy and off we went to your classroom. You hung up your bag and your buddy gave you a beautiful handmade card. Then you met your teacher, put on your name tag and sat down next to your friend, our next door neighbour. Born days apart, what were the odds of the two of you being in the same class! You smiled and laughed with her and it was time to kiss you goodbye and leave.

Just like that the big build up was over. We left and that’s when the mumma tears started. And good ol dad laughed as he captured it on camera!

Suddenly I was taken back to my first day of school, remembering the girl I sat next to crossed legged on the classroom floor. We’re still bff’s today and she was maid of honour at our wedding. Your Auntie Shell Bell.

Now it’s your turn to create those friendships and precious memories my little one.

So my girl… learn, play, read, listen, create, sing, laugh {always laugh} and continue to be who and how you are.

You can be whatever you want to be baby girl… Go ahead and paint the sky!