There she goes…

There she goes…

There she goes

Breaking our hearts into a million pieces and making them burst with pride all at the same time.

No wonder I was so drained today. It’s exhausting all the ‘heart breaking’ that occurs with every ‘first’.

The first immunisations, the first birthday, the first day care drop off, the first day back at work, the first day of pre school, first ballet concert, first lost tooth, and perhaps the most epic first yet… the first day of school. Today! The place where those big developments will happen right before our very eyes. Routines will change and her confidence will soar.

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The night before the big day, you were a bit anxious. You weren’t sure about this whole school thing. I had given you a Guatemalan worry doll and told you if you ever have any worries you just tell them to the worry doll, pop it under your pillow and by morning time all your worries will be gone.

You asked me, “do I tell it to her or just wish it in my head mummy”. I told you to tell it aloud and you held it up close to your face and said “I’m worried mummy will go away at school and not come back.” More heartbreak!

I explained that someone who loves you will always be there to pick you up everyday. You popped the worry doll in its little pouch under your pillow and when you woke this morning you came running out to us saying, “It worked mummy, the worry has gone away!”. And you were so excited. You couldn’t get that uniform on quick enough.

We took a truckload of photos and you insisted on having one with Rio your bestie. You’ve been showing her so much affection lately, more than normal. You talk to her like she’s a person and gosh it makes our hearts sing.

M & Rio

Then it was time. You climbed into the car and insisted on doing everything, all by yourself. Suddenly you’re a big girl with new found confidence.

M car

The P&C prepared ‘tea and tissues’ gift bags, inside – a packet of tissues, chocolate, a tea bag and this poem. I read the first line, welled up and couldn’t even look at the rest of it. Not sure how, but I held it together, for you. I looked around and I could tell that every mum was feeling the same, probably some of the dad’s too. Just holding it together.

poem

While we were waiting to find out who your teacher would be, you found your pre-school and ballet friends and it was then I knew you’d be ok. Smiling, giggling and skipping around.

shiny shoes

You were introduced to your big year 6 buddy and off we went to your classroom. You hung up your bag and your buddy gave you a beautiful handmade card. Then you met your teacher, put on your name tag and sat down next to your friend, our next door neighbour. Born days apart, what were the odds of the two of you being in the same class! You smiled and laughed with her and it was time to kiss you goodbye and leave.

Just like that the big build up was over. We left and that’s when the mumma tears started. And good ol dad laughed as he captured it on camera!

Suddenly I was taken back to my first day of school, remembering the girl I sat next to crossed legged on the classroom floor. We’re still bff’s today and she was maid of honour at our wedding. Your Auntie Shell Bell.

shell bell

Now it’s your turn to create those friendships and precious memories my little one.

So my girl… learn, play, read, listen, create, sing, laugh {always laugh} and continue to be who and how you are.

You can be whatever you want to be baby girl… Go ahead and paint the sky!

Shannon xx pink

Dear Miss 5

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Dear Miss 5,

So you’re 5 and a bit now. Five. Snakes alive! Such a milestone age. I remember being five. I met my BFF, your Auntie Shell Bell at your age!

So I wanted to jot down some thoughts before I forget this magical age, just like I have forgotten bits and pieces from the previous years. “Mummy, you have a bad mem-em-ory” as you often tell me.

Actually the real reason I wanted to start blogging all those years ago was to do exactly this… write you letters. I was on maternity leave, had a bit of time in between your sleeps and feeds and had intended to just set it to private and start documenting your milestones and life as a new parent. But a few things got in the way of that happening, like having two babies in two years! Before we knew it your little brother came along and here we are, it’s 2014 and you are five. Blink. Of. An. Eye!

You start school orientation next week and it’s such a relief to your daddy and I to see you so excited. You are so so ready. If I could send you tomorrow I would. I think you’re getting a bit bored and it’s getting harder to keep you entertained these days. There’s only so much craft and Frozen watching this mumma can deal with!

Me? I’m equal parts excited and sad. Excited that you are going to learn so much so quickly. Excited to have some one-on-one time with your brother as I’ve never had that before. Excited to do the grocery shop with just one kid in tow. Excited that you will become that little bit more independent and excited that it’s one less meltdown we need to have in the mornings about what to wear. Hello school uniform!

But sad. Sad that it won’t be me teaching you all those new things. Sad that your newfound independence means you won’t need me as much. Sad that your brother won’t have his hero around to worship during the week. And sad that starting school really does signal the end of your early childhood years. Pass the tissues 😦

Gosh, I got teary doing the school tour and that was months ago! How am I going to handle big school?!  I’ll spend those first days/weeks wondering if you’ll be able to open your yoghurt by yourself, will you lose your new little glasses? Will you make friends, how will you deal with conflict? So much for a mamma to worry about. But it’s not about me, it’s all about you my big girl and I know you are ready.

You have been glued to my side the last five years, doing everything together. From the early days of mother’s group, play group and gymbaroo. To swimming lessons, sushi Tuesdays, playgrounds, shopping, craft, painting our nails, baking, reading, bouncing on the trampoline, sing-a-long disco’s and watching Frozen a gazillion times. I’m so grateful to have had this precious time with you.

I’m really going to miss it, as will your little brother. He will feel a little lost at first, he looks up to you and copies everything you say and do. Which is hilarious when you say things like “stupid poo poo head” and when he puts on your dresses and curtseys. On the other hand, I’m sure he will enjoy being able to watch Fireman Sam without being subjected to Disney princess everything!

You are showing so much interest in learning. Please, please always stay that way!

Image source: pinterest

Image source: pinterest

You are so different to how I was as a kid and it blows me away how independent you already are.

You are also:

  • Inquisitive – you are always ALWAYS asking questions.
  • Creative – you do craft for hours, coming up with original works of art. image
  • Brave – at 4 you wanted to go on the vertical slide at the Disney resort in Hawaii. Darkness all the way down. I was reluctant, but you wanted to so bad I thought ok, you’ll only do it once. Wrong mummy! You loved it and I screamed like a 4 year old. All. The. Way. Down!
  • Eager to learn – You give everything a go. Ballet, swimming and you are about to start nippers. Your confidence just keeps growing and seeing how happy you are when you accomplish something new makes us so proud.
  • Strong – You stand your ground and don’t give in easily AT ALL! You can thank your daddy for this! Great life skill to have, (wish I had a little more of it actually) but frustrating as hell on the home front!
  • Smart – You write birthday cards with little help. You enjoy number games and are starting to read and understand the clock and money.
  • Loyal – You play with everyone and you don’t exclude. You have your favourites but you don’t cling to them, you involve everyone. A skill your teachers tell me is a good one to have. I love that you’re not afraid of a bit of rough and tumble either. Handy when you have a brother!
  • Sweet – Just this week you said “Mummy, you are wonderful” out of nowhere and gave me a big kiss. And this one “Mummy, you are the loveliest person inside the whole world”. Ahh, I melt!
  • Exquisitely beautiful – and more so everyday. I just cant even…

You love to dance, mostly to Katy Perry’s ‘Roar’, the Frozen soundtrack or ‘Gangnam Style’ with some graceful ballet moves thrown in and you skip everywhere you go because as you say “It’s just my favourite thing Mummy”.

You crack us up with the things you say and how you pronounce things like:

  • Mem-em-ory (memory)
  • Mother Guffle (mother Gothel from Repunzel)
  • Its a husband!! (A huntsman spider)
  • At the top of the hill on the way to swimming you always say “Mummy I can see the whole world from up here”. Its a bunch of houses and trees but to you its the whole world.
  • The way you sing “Everybody dance now, pull your brothers pants down”
  • And so many more that I wish I’d jotted down!! (New parents… document everything!)

And just so my ‘mem-em-ory’ doesn’t fail me, here are a few of your favourite things, aged 5…

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So Miss 5, good luck with school orientation, I know you will love it.

Keep skipping everywhere, dancing to the beat… or not, and just keep being you!

And remember…

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